Posts Tagged ‘Life Coaching’

How to Choose an Optimal Thinking Coach

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

I’m often asked how to choose between the various coaching options, so I thought I’d put it in writing. There are basically three types of Optimal Thinking coaches:

1. Optimal Thinking Life Coach

An Optimal Thinking Life Coach works with you in all areas of your life with a focus on how to best achieve your personal goals. The life coach deals with maximizing your relationships, parenting, weight loss, spiritual development, retirement, speaking, recovery, education, life purpose, and  goals achievement. Optimal Thinking life coaches are not therapists, because we focus on maximizing the present rather than examining the past.

Optimal Thinking Life Coaching also explores your self-limiting core beliefs and provides optimum structure to achieve your most important goals. You work in Los Angeles one-on-one in-person, via Skype or via telephone globally with your coach to develop the action plan that defines your most important goals and the best steps you must take to achieve them. You explore and implement the optimum strategies to overcome the obstacles in your path.

Optimal Thinking life coaching empowers you to put your best self in charge, experience the highest and fullest expression of yourself, and live your best life.

Optimize personal development with Optimal Thinking

2. Optimal Thinking Business Coach

The Optimal Thinking Business Coach typically serves small and mid-sized businesses, and offers expertise in maximizing start-ups, marketing, employment, management, finance, or operations. The business coach provides support, feedback and direction to an individual or group to help them determine how to optimize the effectiveness of their business. Coaching can be delivered one-on-one, in group coaching sessions and in large-scale organizational work in-person, via Skype or via the telephone.  Optimal Thinking Business Coaches specialize in different areas such as executive coaching, corporate coaching and leadership coaching.

3. Optimal Thinking Executive Coach

An Optimal Thinking Executive Coach serves professionals within larger corporations as well as emerging leaders. Our executive coaches specialize in maximizing career transitions, skill development, strategic thinking, productivity, interpersonal communications, performance management, organizational savvy, team coaching, executive presence and leadership development. The coach serves as an objective sounding board, and equips you with best practices to deal with critical near-term issues, and develop optimum leadership and management skills that have immediate, lasting and optimal impact.

Coaches often work on needs uncovered via a 360-degree (mulit-rater) review conducted by our coach, or your company. Optimal Thinking Executive Coaches provide inspiration, encouragement, and motivation to execute your most vital priorities and objectives.

Executive coaching focuses on the best outcomes that can be attained in short periods of time (usually three to six months). With its focus on specific, near-term goals, executive coaching is structured to achieve optimal results in a minimum amount of time. As you achieve the outcomes, you may choose to extend the executive coaching relationship by identifying other areas where executive coaching would best benefit you.

Executive coaching sessions in Los Angeles, onsite, via Skype, or telephone occur weekly or bi-weekly, usually lasting for 60 to 90 minutes. More intensive schedules include two and three hour sessions or day-long “shadowing” by the coach.

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Life Coaching Best Practices for Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

certified_coach1Would optimal thinking life coaching help you to deal with people who get away with overtly aggressive and passive-aggressive behavior. Some people are verbally disrespectful, offend others, and are socially inept. They use inappropriate language, off color jokes, and degrade others. Others use passive-aggressive behaviors to avoid taking responsibility for hurting others. They fail to take action when it is appropriate to do so. For example, when they make appointments with others, they don’t show up on time, or call ahead to ensure the other person knows they’ll be late.

Recently, one of my clients arranged to meet his new acquaintance, Helen, a wealthy business woman, at a Xmas party at 6 pm. He arrived at 5:56 pm and sat at a table in clear view, securing an open chair for his new acquaintance. Helen didn’t show up 6 pm or 6:30 pm. At 7 pm, when Helen was still a no show and hadn’t emailed or phoned, my client decided to call to see if his new acquaintance was okay.

At that moment, my client saw Helen seated at another table with a group of people. He was surprised and disappointed. Soon after, he and Helen acknowledged each other from a distance, without any verbal exchange. Helen made no attempt to speak with my client or apologize. Later, my client left the party with a friend. The next morning, Helen emailed my client. She apologized for having been detained at work, and said she didn’t want to explain herself at the party.

During his next life coaching session, my client shared this episode and his disappointment with me, I asked numerous questions including: “Why are you disappointed? What are you thinking or doing to create these feelings? Do you believe that money can buy class? What can you learn from this? How can you best adjust your expectations? What is your best strategy for dealing with Helen? What are best practices for dealing with passive-aggressive-behaviors? What are the most constructive actions you can take to prevent this kind of situation in the future?”

If you feel disappointed, hurt or concerned, and are ready to optimize — not just manage or improve — your relationships, emotional intelligence and self-reliance, feel free to contact me for life coaching in our Los Angeles office or by telephone. We’re here to support your best interests!

Optimize personal development with Optimal Thinking

Life Coaching to Optimize Your Emotional Intelligence

Monday, December 20th, 2010

“The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depend upon himself,
and not upon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily.”

Plato

Emotional Mastery mp3 Download

Emotional Mastery mp3 Download

Would life coaching help you? Many people wrongly believe that their best feelings are derived from external sources. They believe that if they get love, affection, understanding, or respect from another person, they will be happy. These people do not understand that that their best feelings are generated from within. Does your happiness depend on something that is out of your control? Do you believe that you need a relationship, material possessions, or an outstanding achievement to be happy? If so, you will inevitably feel unhappy.

When you honor your own feelings and use Optimal Thinking to optimize them, your happiness is completely within your control. You experience optimum emotional intelligence. You discover that an optimal connection with your feelings is the authentic source of your best feelings.

You can maximize your most positive feelings by exploring which needs are met when you experience them. Ask: What are my most important needs and what’s the best way I can satisfy them? Optimal Thinking is the ultimate mental tool to create those situations, circumstances, and events where your most beneficial emotions are felt and your needs are met.

During Optimal Thinking life coaching, you learn strategies to maximize your emotional life by yourself for yourself. If you are ready to optimize your emotional intelligence and self-reliance, feel free to contact me for life coaching in our Century City, Los Angeles office or by telephone. We’re here for you!

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Life Coaching for Relationship Dependence Problems

Monday, December 13th, 2010

before optimizationCan life coaching with Optimal Thinking help you?  Many people did not receive the love and acceptance they needed as children. They feel inadequate, unimportant, unlovable, powerless, empty, lonely, bad, and even worthless. Instead of facing their painful feelings and healing their wounds, they focus their attention on their relationships. Do you please others in order to gain their approval? Do you become deeply emotionally attached to others before they have earned your trust and respect?  Do you have other relationship problems?

Many people hand over the role of affirming their value and lovability to other people and then feel wounded and rejected when others fail to make them feel valuable and lovable. When they don’t receive the approval they need, they blame others for their feelings of jealousy, resentment, hurt, loneliness, or disappointment. By allowing others to define you, you give away your power to them and then are dependent on their choices. Relationship problems arise because the foundation is rocky.

During Optimal Thinking life coaching, we have met numerous people who were brought up to believe that their role in life is to support others and that their personal goals and desires are secondary. These people feel selfish when they consider themselves first. Do you believe that you can only be happy when you are in a loving relationship? When your sense of wholeness depends upon being in a loving relationship, you are in a victim state. Making your happiness dependent upon others gives them the power to make or break you.

Harry, a business owner I coached, was miserable when he wasn’t in a committed relationship. By centering his thoughts and activities on his girlfriend, he avoided facing his pain and healing himself. Harry focused on his girlfriend’s feelings but ignored his own. He made her responsible for affirming his value and lovability, and for making his life meaningful. However, when he didn’t get the attention and approval he needed, he felt cheated and angry. He blamed his girlfriend for abandoning him, even though he was actually abandoning himself. When the relationship ended, he compulsively repeated the cycle with another woman.

During life coaching, Harry realized that whenever he attributed his pain to an external source, he was choosing to be irresponsible. Sadly, many of us choose the victim role by believing that life happens to us. If it hadn’t been for this, that, or the other, we would be doing very well now. Blame is the name of the victim’s game. We blame others for our pain because we don’t want to take responsibility for the source of our distress: our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. By volunteering for the victim role, we avoid personal responsibility for our choices and their consequences. As long as we believe we are victims, we don’t have to take responsibility for healing our pain. Until we accept the truth that our wounded feelings come from our choices and that we are responsible for the thoughts, beliefs, and actions that create our feelings, we will continue to feel powerless. It is not others’ behavior that is the source of our anguish, but our interpretation of their behavior and our responses.

You can give up your need for approval from others. Start by observing your victimizing thoughts and emotions without judging them, and consider how to best deal with them. Avoid the temptation of having others define you by asking yourself such questions as, “What do I want from others that I am not giving to myself?” Whenever you are angry with someone, ask yourself, “What am I doing to myself that I am blaming others for doing to me?” As soon as you realize what you’re doing to hurt yourself, you can take the best corrective actions. Here are some additional questions:

• Am I willing to take full responsibility for optimizing my thoughts, feelings, actions, and life?
• Is my greatest desire to learn how to take care of myself or do I want someone or something to do this for me?
• What do I need from an external source that I am not giving myself?
• What is the wisest way of dealing with this?

By taking full responsibility for defining yourself, you will claim your personal power. You can optimize trust, communications and mutual commitment in your relationships.You can also participate in confidential life coaching at our Los Angeles office or by telephone.

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Life Coaching: The Optimal Thinking Way

Friday, December 10th, 2010

media1Why does life coaching fail to achieve the best results? There are numerous reasons. Let’s start with the simplest one. Life coaching conducted with suboptimal positive thinking produces suboptimal results! That’s why the Optimal Thinking life coach employs Optimal Thinking fastidiously during the life coaching process to maximize every communication and situation.

In The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale stated: “Expect the best at all times. Never think of the worst. Drop it out of your thought, relegate it. Let there be no thought in your mind that the worst will happen. You can overcome any obstacle. You can achieve the most tremendous things by faith power.”

Unfortunately, many suboptimal positive thinking coaches believe that your dreams will be realized by a magical, divine process that is triggered by the intensity of your hopes, wishes, and faith. They approach life with a false sense of security, and are ill prepared for negative consequences. Their positive thinking is often no more than wishful thinking and can be extremely dangerous.

Consider Betty, who told me about her last experience with wishful thinking. She actually quit her job and sold her house in Los Angeles, convinced that if she were steadfast in her faith, she would secure a job with a well-known company in San Diego. When Betty discovered that someone else got the job, she was devastated. Her wishful thinking put her out in the cold.

Do you experience feelings of disappointment because you entertain unrealistic expectations? Some people expect too much from others and situations, then pay a big price for it. During the flurry of excitement over the emerging dot-com phenomenon, many suboptimal positive thinking investors practiced wishful thinking. These suboptimal positive thinkers convinced themselves that Internet stocks could be evaluated with unrealistic criteria. Their illusions were permanently shattered when their stocks lost 50 to 100 percent of their value. Here is a conversation I overheard where a suboptimal positive thinking coach used wishful thinking.

COACHEE: I’m really worried about leaving my money in the stock market.

SUBOPTIMAL THINKING COACH: Just stay positive and everything will fall into place.

Here is the difference with an Optimal Thinking coach.

COACHEE: I am having sleepless nights. I’m worried about leaving my money in the stock market. What is the best thing I can do?

OPTIMAL THINKING COACH: What’s the worst thing that could happen? What your best strategy to protect yourself from experiencing this scenario? How can you minimize your risk? What are the most constructive actions you can take under the current circumstances?

The Optimal Thinking coach collaborates with you to ensure that you don’t risk more than you can afford to lose. When you face considerable danger, your Optimal Thinking coach asks questions to help you determine your optimal contingency plan. You eliminate unnecessary disappointment by entertaining realistic expectations and focusing on optimizing situations within your control.

OPTIMAL THINKING IS OPTIMAL REALISM — IT IS NOT OPTIMISM

In Learned Optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman states: “If the cost of failure is high, optimism is the wrong strategy. Sometimes we need to cut our losses and invest elsewhere rather than find reasons to hold on.”

It isn’t always possible to protect against negative consequences. We take calculated risks throughout our lives. Some years ago, I met with a representative who was interested in producing Optimal Thinking products. During our initial conversation, she immediately asked: “What is the difference between optimism and Optimal Thinking?” I responded with, “I like your question. What you’re really asking is what’s the difference between hoping for the best, and asking: “What’s the best thing I can do under the circumstances?” She smiled, and we were off to the right start!

Are you hoping that your greatest wish will manifest miraculously or effortlessly? How realistic is this? Are you willing to use Optimal Thinking to give yourself the best chance of making your wish come true?

During Optimal Thinking Life Coaching, you learn how to consistently put your best in charge, bring out the best in others, and maximize every situation. You learn how to give yourself the very best chance of achieving everything you want.

You are most welcome to visit our office in Century City, Los Angeles, or receive your confidential life coaching by telephone.

Optimal Thinking Book * Learn more from Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self (Wiley 7th printing and in 16 languages)